I’m reading The Entitlement Trap by Richard and Linda Eyre about how kids can be entitled and how to fix it. There are a lot of examples of how kids are entitled: they think they can do whatever they want without consequences, get whatever they want without effort, and have all the privileges without any responsibility.
It’s really easy as a parent to look at our kids and see their entitled behaviors that we are training into them. For example, my daughter thinks that she can watch a show whenever she wants for however long she wants with no effort on her part. But what entitled behaviors are we missing in ourselves? A quick example comes to mind for me that I feel I can eat whatever snacks or candy I want when I want with no consequences. The scale disagrees. We can also feel entitled to a “good relationship” with our partner, or more specifically a partner that gives us affection and does what we want, without any effort or compromise on our part.
I think part of the problem is the idea that “we are adults now” and consequences are for kids. As kids our parents would do things we couldn’t because they were adults, so maybe that leads to an indirect training of entitlement. Of course there are different rules for adults, but we don’t actually talk explicitly about that.
Complaining without solutions is worthless, so what can we do about it? I think honest introspection is step one. Think about it, maybe make a list. Then remain aware and correct yourself when you see it happen.