“Children are remarkably capable human beings. They can do more than we think they can. They can understand more than we think they can. The reason they sometimes don’t understand, the actual cause of the effect, is that we don’t think they can.” Richard Eyre, Simplified Husbandship, Simplified Fathership
This is something I’ve struggled to convince people of since I had a child. Since I first started tutoring children, if we’re being honest. So… 15+ years ago?
A month or so ago I had a parent tell me not to talk to my daughter “like that” because she wouldn’t understand. Wouldn’t you know, my daughter did understand what I was saying. Do you know why? Because I don’t talk to her like she’s an idiot. When you treat your child like a functional human being they act like a functional human being.
It’s part of a broader principle: people will rise to your expectations of them. If you treat them like failures, they will fail. If you treat them as incapable, they will be incapable. But if you treat them as valuable people of extreme capability, they will become valuable people that blow you away.