My wife was talking with someone today and mentioned how she’s still crazy about me. The other person responded along the lines “really? Even after 10 years?”
Is this weird? I mean, I know some marriages are rough. But is it not normal to be crazy (good crazy) about your spouse after 8 years? Is it not normal to put significant consistent effort into your relationship? Is it not normal to want your interactions with the person you spend the most time with to be the best you have? Is it not normal to want the coordination with the person you coordinate the most with to be as effective as possible?
Maybe people think it’s hard? OK, I guess it is hard. It’s hard in the way that anything worth having in life is hard? (And apparently having it easy is actually bad for us) It’s hard because the work is never done, since it is an eternal striving for perfection that will take much longer than this life. It’s hard because building a relationship like that takes trust, and trust can be scary.
But it’s at least not complicated. It’s just communication. And communicating about communication. And communicating about how you communicate about communication. It’s endless conversations that take up a lifetime, building something new and old and infinitely strong out of two struggling, imperfect people. It’s planning and dreaming and sharing and caring about the other person’s plans and dreams.
Some people say that “you won’t always be in love with the person you’re married to.” You know what makes you love someone? Listening to their dreams, their struggles, their goals, their victories. You may not always be happy, but if you aren’t in love with the person you’re married to (or even dating) you probably aren’t listening well enough.
And dang it, it’s worth it. Having a partner with you through thick and thin is so empowering I can’t describe it. It makes you so confident to know that someone has your back despite and because they know you. And that makes you unstoppable.