I don’t know when I first heard this. Maybe I made it up, but I doubt it.
A month ago I almost quit pilot training. It was hard. I was overwhelmed, lagging behind, struggling with things like my ability to finish, whether my family could handle the pilot life (or even the military life), and if I even wanted to fly. My wife and I had already decided to have a final discussion about whether to finish pilot training after my navigation block checkride. (The 10 year commitment doesn’t apply until graduation, so as long as I drop out before that I would have only had 2 years left)
It didn’t help that I failed my navigation checkride. Spectacularly. It also didn’t help that the more I thought about it, the more I was sure the things I failed for were wrong. So there I was frustrated, exhausted, and depressed. I didn’t feel like I was a good pilot. I was overwhelmed with all the family and work responsibilities I had. I was frustrated with pilot culture and not sure I wanted to do it. It also came at the exact same moment as a depressive episode for my wife, so I felt like there was no way to manage my career and care for my family.
So we came against a decision point. It was not my first time there, but it would be the last so the pressure was pretty high.
When I was just starting pilot training, two of my classmates dropped out. They were a few weeks into simulator training and had yet to touch and actual plane or even talk to one of the active pilots. Their reason for dropping out was that they didn’t like pilot culture.
A few months before, one of the guys from the class just below me dropped out, and on daily ride failures no less. As I talked to his classmates, I found that he had just given up. He decided he just didn’t want to do it any more, and just quit trying.
I am not a fan of giving up. I know part of it is maybe not the healthiest attitude - I feel like I am a failure and tie my self-worth a little too much to my ability to accomplish anything I put my mind to. But that aside, to me giving up shows a lack of dedication, a lack of commitment to a decision you have made, and even a lack of loyalty to the people who have helped you get as far as you did. It’s abandoning a future you that could exist.
But let me paint another picture. I knew another guy who dropped out of pilot training. By the time he did he had been at the base for years. He failed the same checkride as I did. The pace had worn on him, as it had worn on me. It was hard on his family. We were essentially in the same boat. But when he sat down and thought about it, he recognized that he had other career options. He had started flying as something cool to do, and it wasn’t worth the strain on himself and his family. So when it came time to stand before the commander and plead his case to be reinstated in the program he decided not to.
He didn’t give up. He knew when to quit.
I’ve started a lot of software projects I hoped would make me a lot of money. I worked hard on them, dedicated unreasonable numbers of hours, missed uncounted hours of family time and sleep. And every time I have stopped. But I haven’t given up. I just knew when to quit.
Giving up is abandoning an idea, leaving it because you don’t care. It’s callous and casual abandonment of the future. But when things aren’t working out, when it turns out it wasn’t the right decision, when new information comes to light and you find that the costs outweigh the benefits, you can’t keep holding on. When the plane is going down and you’re not going to recover it, it’s time to eject.
But that doesn’t mean stop. So the business isn’t working out. Put it down, breathe for a moment, and reattack or find another. Your workout regime is hurting? Take a day off and consider something that is easier on your body or more fun. Diet making you miserable? Maybe find one that works better for you. If you’re determined to breastfeed but the baby isn’t latching properly? (Yeah, we’re going through this right now) Just pump or formula feed for a few days and try again. Or don’t. Reevaluate the costs, make a decision, and make something good happen.